17 Days from today will be New Years Day. No, you say, New Year’s Day is January 1st. Well, it is not. The first day of the year is December 21st, the Winter Solstice. It will happen at 10:03 AM Eastern Time, the point at which the Earth starts its year-long trip around the sun. We have been using the wrong calendar for 1 millennium after another. Now, on New Year’s Day December 21st, Sunday, will you please resolve to stop animal products your conscience will like you exuberantly more. You didn’t take time to listen, but your conscience has been telling you all these years to stop cruelty to sweet and innocent animals. To stop cutting down forests for grain fields, to stop global warming, and cease shortening your life with heart disease and cancer. Glendora wants you to live to 97 and a half, happy and healthy with no hospitals, no doctors, no medicine, no pills, no bills and vegan.

Jokes

Mommy, am I made of dust and return to dust? Mommy: Yes. Daughter: Then how come when I go swimming I don’t get muddy?

Teacher told the children to draw the Christmas scene, the little girl brought up her paper. The teacher said, “There is Jesus; there is Mary; there is Joseph; what is this box in the corner. Little Girl: That is their computer.

Wife: You said you were going to see your dentist today. Husband: Right. Wife: When I went by on the bus, I saw you going into the ballpark with a short, bald-headed man. Husband: Yeah, that’s my dentist.

Smiles is the longest word in the English language, between the first ‘s’ and the last ‘s’ is a mile.

The train was being loaded on the platform at Grand Central. The conductor standing outside said, “This train goes to Buffalo in 10 minutes.” One little old lady said to her friend, “Good, last time it took 7 hours.”

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