On April 29th, 2025 the National Institutes of Health made a momentous announcement: “For decades, our biomedical research system has relied heavily on animal models,” NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya said. “With this initiative NIH is ushering in a new era…” The Commitment: “to prioritize human-based research technologies.”

The statement was reminiscent of former NIH Director Francis Collins’ 2015 announcement ending chimpanzee experiments. The decision, Collins said, was based on serious questions “about the appropriateness of research on our closest relatives,” as well as the fact that “the scientific community has come up with other ways to answer these kinds of questions they used to ask with chimpanzees.”

Glendora, who told you this? Dr. Neal Barnard, founder of The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.

Jokes

A little boy is in the narthex of the church, and he is looking at this metal plaque on the wall. The priest said, “Those are the names of our people who died in the service.”

The little boy said, “Which service, 9:00 or 11:00?”

Why was the young girl staring at the orange juice carton? It said, “Concentrate.”

The doctor said, “I have bad news and very bad news.”

Quivering, the patient said, “What is the bad news?”

Doctor: “You have two days to live.”

The patient, quivering further, said, “What is the very bad news?”

Doctor: “I forgot to tell you yesterday.”

The teacher was trying to impress upon the children the duties of the Vice President of the United States. She said, “Why, children, if the President of the United States should die this very minute, who would get the job?”

Little girl: “A republican undertaker.”

Son, with your attendance record, you will never make President of the United States. However, you might make Congress.

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