Glendora wishes to thank all you readers of The Advertiser who have mentioned the Glendora Vegan Club. She appreciates Jennifer Morrell, editor. If Glendora and Lisa are late even one hour with the article, she kicks us in the gluteus maximus to correct it. Now, The Advertiser, our hometown shopping news, is a publication by the Hearst Corporation. Would you be aghast if Glendora told you she interviewed William Randolph Hearst? Well, she did! And which William Randolph Hearst: the dad or the son? Well, naturally, it would be the one above ground, the son. How did this come about? Next week, Lisa and Glendora will weave that great happening personally to you.

Jokes

If Glendora ever needs a heart transplant, she wants the heart of her medicaid insurance company called Nascentia. Why? It’s never been used.

My neighbor two houses south was elected Mayor of our village, Nassau. His wife, along with the rest of the neighbors thought it would be a good idea to invite people to Village Hall for a modest celebration of coffee and cake. His wife made the cake, and Village Hall provided the coffee. Many people came and enjoyed the friendship. His wife, sons and Glendora were the last to leave, and as we looked thought the glass doors of Village Hall, there was the mayor all alone with the vacuum cleaner cleaning up the crumbs. He wife looked in and commented, “New Mayor makes Clean Sweep of Village Hall.”

A man died and asked St. Peter to get into Heaven. Said St. Peter, “What makes you think you deserve to get into heaven?”
“Well, back on Earth I did lots of good things.”
St. Peter replied, “Oh, really? …For instance?”
“Well, there was this motorcycle gang. They were beating up these people. I went up to the leader of that game and I told him that he could not beat up on those people like this and then kicked him in the shins.
St. Peter responded, “Not bad, how long ago did this happen?
“Five minutes ago!”

Tags: William Randolph Hearst