Dear Meals on Wheels all over the USA, would you please examine serving your dear patrons vegan meals, not just a few of your people but all of them. We can no longer ignore the hundreds of studies that have proven conclusively that animal products cause heart disease and cancer. We must all Go Vegan. Glendora has person knowledge. May 1st, she turned 98 with no hospitals, no doctors, no medicine, and no bills. Join us in glad adoration.

Jokes

Doctor: There is nothing I can do for your disease. It is hereditary.

Patient: Please send the bill to my dad.

Student: Is it difficult to become a professor?

Professor: No, you do it by degrees.

Behind every successful man is a proud wife and a flabbergasted mother-in-law.

Minister: What is the difference between “like” and “love”?

Little Boy: I like my mom and dad, but I LOVE my bubble gum.

Teacher: Use the word “bewitches” in a sentence.

Student: Youz guys go ahead; I’ll bewitches in a minute!

Coach to the referee: That was a great match!

Referee (clearly flattered): Oh, really?

Coach: Yes, I wish you had seen it.

During halftime, the referee looked up in the bleachers to see a woman being carried out on a stretcher. He said to the coach, “Did she have a heart attack?” The coach replied. “You called one right and she fainted.”

Tags: The Advertiser