“How are you today, Glendora?”

“96 years old, no hospitals, no doctors, no medicine, no pills, and no bills. And vegan…”

Jokes

No two people think alike…until it comes to wedding presents. One couple told Glendora that among their wedding presents they received 12 toasters.

Misers are no fun to live with; but they make excellent ancestors.

Regardless of what you read in the newspaper, people do not die in alphabetical order.

Here is some advice: if you are at an auction, do not wave to a friend. Glendora had a friend who did this and had to take home a piano.

A man said the airplane he was on did not have in-flight movies, but every now and then his life flashed before his eyes.

Tags: The Advertiser