Episode: 14,278 Part 1 – How to be 100% happy

Estimated read time 1 min read
14,278 part 1 how to be 100% happy.

Jokes/Songs/etc…

Jokes plus a phone call with Wayne “the singing bookkeeper” about Glendora’s expenses.
A counterfeiter goes in to a bank clerk, and says...
“Can you change this $18 bill?” So the clerks says, “Sure! What do you want? Two nines, or three sixes?”
A bird, a dog and a cat all died on the same day...
…and went to Heaven on the same day. So God asks the dog where she wants to sit and the dog says “I want to sit on your left.” He then asks the bird where he wants to sit and the bird says “I want to sit on your right.” Finally he asks the cat, and the cat says “I think you’re sitting in my chair.”
A medical student came home from medical school with his diploma...
…and said to his parents, “Here’s the diploma you always wanted me to get from medical school. And now I’m going to go out and be what I’ve always told you I’ve wanted to be since I was 7 years old. I’m going out and be a fireman.”
Crushed in the Rush
She said, “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on earth.” He said, “That’s right, honey, you’d get crushed in the rush.”
A young man took a young lady out to dinner...
While ordering, he asked, “How do you like your rice, boiled or fried?” And she said, “Thrown.”
Not Much to Look At
The groom-to-be said, “Honey, I know I’m not much to look at.” And she said, “That’s alright, dear. You’ll be in the office most of the time.”
How Wonderful You Are
The new girlfriend said to the new boyfriend, “Has anybody ever told you how wonderful you are?” To which he replied, “No.” And she said, “Well where’d you get the big idea?”
Do you know why the little boy was staring at the orange juice carton?
Because it said “concentrate.”
Money Trees
Mother: “Son, money does not grow on trees.” Son: “Then how come banks have branches?”
Nursery School
The nursery school teacher took the children for a walk. And she said, “Children, there is one thing we can all be thankful for. We are all free.” And the little boy said, “I’m not free. I’m four.”

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